I started this blog, maybe 4 and a half years ago. Incidentally rendering it’s subtitle incorrect.
But what is this “About Me” page about, anyway? Everyone is constantly changing. Taking that into consideration [or not], simply, I am a writer working in the talent aspect of the entertainment industry [ie actors] that has, over a period of approximately a decade, thrust herself into the incomparable world of drugs, addiction and general destructive behaviour. Spanning across both coasts of the United States, this blog starts off when I gingerly decided that maybe, self-destructive behaviour may not be compatible with a sustainable life. But I am not in recovery.
So, to pop a bit of evolutionary summation, 23rd Street Chronicles, is still and will always be a drug blog. I will always post things when wasted (though not exclusively when wasted). I will recount tales of then vs now. I will post links to interesting addiction studies/pages/whatever. This may all sound a bit head-spinny, but because I am writing in the present, if I find it appropriate to regale you with a story of the past, I will add a date & location just after the title.
The one thing that I believe to be most important is that I am still not in recovery. I still have no desire to be in recovery. I don’t understand why there is only one option. And here’s the rub, though I’m not in recovery, I have discontinued many (or atleast toned down) things connected to what might be interpreted as destructive behaviour. I cannot say that it’s been a snappy process of toning-down. But the shock to the system that is “the program”… I cannot see working… atleast for me… ever.
And this toning-down of mine, I cannot discredit as being proactive. I still and will always love drugs. But I have no desire to be dependent on anything more than I am now. Neither do I want to be a drug addict. That 2nd thing is semantics as most people confuse the phrases “drug user” and “drug addict”. So, I suppose, I am a primarily non-drug using drug addict.
So, I still have a foot in both spheres. Some people might say that any usage of drugs would leave me in the “drug using” place. But that’s what I’m saying, it’s continuous. And to discredit my evolution up to this point would be ludicrous. This is why the extremist view of abstinence cannot work. Okay for some people, it functions… but what is the point if one looks at it this way? If doing a little bit of something is seen as one huge amorphous image of “drug addict”… why not just do more?
This is rapidly becoming about something else. My point is I’ll do crazy fucked-up stuff… I’ll post it here… and then sometimes I will do the most mundane of things as a sort of “here you go, person or kid or whatever that feels like they are fucked up”.
I suppose that is the goal… plus my self-serving motive of “I should write more”… or anything.
This will definitely see some editing and all that I usually say… to be continued.
Also, there are these:
About Me [After Then] though pretty accurate (in describing this blog) was written a million years ago. I was coming out of the “grey-ness” that is withdrawal from meth probably helped by a proper prescription of one ADHD stimulant or another.
About Me [Then] complete incoherent denial that I was actually doing this blog thing in the first place. Whatever it was about… totally rambling incoherence.